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Best movie villains Apr. 23rd, 2006 @ 09:21 pm

List and accompanying commentary by Ashley Atterbury


  1. The Joker (as played by Caesar Romaro, Jack Nicholson or Mark Hammil). Anyone who can implant their DNA into someone else’s body so that they can reincarnate at their convenience is just… cool, besides he was hired by Lex Luther to assassinate Superman. You know you’re good when that happens! And who can forget that kick ass wardrobe? Not everyone can pull off purple.
  2. Malificent (from sleeping beauty) a lethal sorceress who looks like she went to some medieval finishing school… what other villain have you seen with that kind of posture? Please note: I did not say witch, because she is obviously way beyond a common witch.
  3. Two Face AKA Harvey Dent (from Batman) consistently creepy appearance and surprisingly well thought out plans considering his brain is scarred. Also, the only villain I currently know who has tried to kill himself on several occasions, not just suicide mind you, elaborate schemes to fool the good half of his brain and then throw him off of various buildings.
  4. Green Goblin (Spider Man) weird costume accompanied by flying surfboard, disguised by day as a CEO, could he be anymore deadly?
  5. Lord Voldemort (From Harry Potter – duh) after some thought has been moved up to number five… if not just for the fact that he kills Dumbledore. Snake-like appearance and elaborate scheme of world domination make this up and comer THE villain to watch.
  6. Morgan de le Faye (King Arthur legends) portrayed as old crone and as young goddess depending on which movie you rent…despite varying appearances comes up with many kick ass schemes to try and de-throne Arthur.
  7. Judge Frolo (from the Hunchback of Notre Dame) religious zealousness teamed with a killer baritone, one of the better Disney villains.
  8. Jadis aka the White Witch (from the lion the witch and the wardrobe, well, she really appears in six of the seven books but you really have to look for her in Prince Caspian). Her awesome sense of fashion, her mastery of disguise paired with her unfailing ability to avoid getting killed make her uber cool.
  9. Jaws (the midget with the metal teeth from James bond)… need I say more?
  10. Darth Vader (Star Wars …again duh?) An oldie but a goodie, personally I think Darth Maul from the Phantom Menace is the coolest Sith of all, but he died way too easily for him to make it on the list.
ps the list above did not turn out as intended... Rat Bastard Formatting
Current Mood: annoyedannoyed
Current Music: U rock my world - MJ

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE! Apr. 23rd, 2006 @ 08:56 pm

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?

Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?

The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with.. "a recipe".

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time... - A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit...

Current Location: Kitchen
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: hand in my pocket

eeek! Mar. 17th, 2006 @ 07:57 am
ran out of hand cream and it's only 8 am!
must resist urge wash hands
so dry, can't go on
water.. water
thats it i'm going to wash my hands
goddamned paper pushing job

Whoo hoo hoo Mar. 13th, 2006 @ 03:54 pm
Debbie just hit the wall
she never had it all
1 prozac a day
Husband's a CPA
her dreams went out the door
when she turned 24
only bin with 1 man
what happened 2 her plan?

she was gonna be an actress
she was gonna be a star
she was gonna shake her ass
on the hood of white snake's car
her yellow SUV
is now the enemy
looks at her average life
and. nothing. has been. all right.

Bruce Springsteen, Maddonna
way before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV
her 2 kids in high school
they tell her that she's uncool
but she's still preoccupied
with 19-19-1985


she's seen all the classics
she knows every line
Breakfest Club, Pretty in Pink
even St. Elmo's Fire
she rocked out to WHAM
not a big Limp Bizkit fan
thought she'd get a hand
on a member on Duran Duran

where's the mini skirt
made of snake skin
and who's the other guy that's singin' in Van Halen
when did reality become T.V.
what ever happen to sitcoms, game shows
(on the radio was)

Bruce Springsteen, Maddonna
way before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV
her 2 kids in high school
they tell her that she's uncool
but she's still preoccupied
with 19-19-1985 (whoo hoo hoo)


She hates time make it stop
when did Motley Crue become classic rock?
And when did Ozzy become an actor?
Please make this stop
And bring back

Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
way before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV
her two kids in high school
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupied
with 1985


Bruce Springsteen, Madonna
way before Nirvana
there was U2 and Blondie
and music still on MTV (woohoohoo)
her two kids in high school
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupied
with 19, 19, 1985

Current Mood: bouncybouncy

shamless self promoting Mar. 13th, 2006 @ 03:47 pm
Hello everyone meet my mini website/ most likely the closet thing i will ever have to a real website. if you have anysuggestions lemme know. enjoy my life

ashley a

Current Mood: crazycrazy
Current Music: u rock my world - MJ
Other entries







fuckwit *from bridget jones's diary* verb: fuckwittage



FWAL = freak without a leash

pander/ pandering


IE = institution escapee
» oh come on1 i get more action than that when i sit over the wheel well at the back of the bus
i know, it's a thinker

the best of Karen Walker:

Whoa! Got Skirt?

Oh Honey... I don't care.

Someone called for you, Ted... Homosexual.

I like flowers or as I like to call them "poor people's jewelry."

Someone was asking about you out in the hall. It was your youth and it wants it's shirt back.

Oh honey, children have been in there, you're in a pit full of pink-eye!

Sorry I'm late, there were no paper towels in the bathroom so I had to wait until someone came in wearing a long coat.

What's with the hair? It looks like you've got a little mousse and squirrel in there!

It's Funny Cuz It's True.

There is No "I" singing!

Oh honey Coulda, shoulda, Prada - get over yourself!
» i think i brained my damage
so... one post for an explanation and another to admire my handy work.
i just got locked out of the back room so no diet coke for me... good thing they have that splenda stuff up here or i'd be going into aspertaine withdrawal.
so far today *checks call log* 8 phone calls, boy do they need me! it's a good thing thye're swithciing to a voicemail service by the end of the month cuz they are wasting thier money paying me to sit up here and play on the net all day.
i'm so glad this job is only for a month. not that it's bad or anything it's just freaking far away 2 hours on the bus... i shit u not.
and calgary tasnit is so crowded i've stood closer to some strangers than i have to my own mother.
seriously, i cannot belive how much money some one will pay you to sit at a desk and look pretty... well, and answer phones and emails.

and let's not forget the most important thing of all: making coffee
that is the first thing they showed me how to do. seriously.
i'm pretty sure 1955 ended a while ago... it is not the receptionists job to serve everyone coffee. it is so demeaning... did i mention i'm on my third cup?
» disapearing act
well, i have been getting flac from everyone for my vanishing off the face of the earth trick. whats the matter? don't you guys like magic tricks? just so no one on here is worried. (and i doubt you are) i am fine i am in calgary and in fact writing this entry at work. reception is way better then retail.
they trust you waaaaay too much.
as for why i left.
it's a long story.
if you want the details you'll have to ask me yourself.
» (No Subject)
do not like stepsister or her pandering father... just heard that word today... pandering it doesn't get enough play.
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